twilight on facebook
by CryingWolf14
Summary: so... this is crazy, weird and beyond normal. however it is kinda funny so give it a shot. i dont have facebook so if it aint right go screw yourself coz im sorry but i dont care.*tempererorily on hold*
1. Facebook is found

**IF U WANT THIS IDEA PM ME. FLAMES WELCOME. REVIEWS APPRECIATED. I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, AND AM GOING TO STOP THE CAP LOCK NOW. I dont have facebook so... if its wrong, dont shoot me just live with it. bella and edward are married but reneseme doesn't exist. bella is human. this is the time inbetween the end of eclipse and beginning of breaking dawn. enjoy!**

_bella cullen has just logged on._

_Edward cullen has logged on._

_jacob black has logged on._

_Jacob black: whaz up bells? apart from the fact ur dating stone._

_bella cullen: really jacob! whaz up? are u 10? and at least he didnt kiss me without asking._

_jacob black: if u remember bells, u ASKED me 2 to kiss u._

_Edward cullen: yeah... he may have a point bella love._

_bella cullen: who's side are u on?!_

_EMMETT CULLEN (DA STRONG GUY) has logged on._

_EMMETT CULLEN (DA STRONG GUY): things gettin feisty with the loved ones._

_bella cullen: shut up emmett. by the way... WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH UR NAME?_

___EMMETT CULLEN (DA STRONG GUY): Rosalie said the same thing. i thought that coz we r all on facebook we should have cool names._

___bella cullen&Edward cullen dislike this._

___Alice Cullen has logged on._

___Alice Cullen: maybe we should try it._

___bella cullen: NO!_

___Alice Cullen: it'll be fun!_

___bella cullen: fine. u sooooo owe me._

_____EMMETT CULLEN (DA STRONG GUY): bella used incorrect grammer! OMG!_

_____bella cullen: h8. u._

_________EMMETT CULLEN (DA STRONG GUY):_ :( 

___bella cullen has changed her name to scarlet ivory._

___scarlet ivory: everybody happy?_

_____EMMETT CULLEN (DA STRONG GUY): WHY SCARLET IVORY?_

_____scarlet ivory: coz i'm pale and blush alot._

_____Alice Cullen has changed her name to The fortune teller._

_____Edward cullen changed his name to Edward- bella's hubby._

_____Edward-bella's hubby: i'm gonna kill u emmett!_

_______EMMETT CULLEN (DA STRONG GUY): hahahahahahhahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahhahahah ah! ;)_

___Edward-bella's hubby has changed his name to shadow eyes._

___jacob black has changed his name to THE WOLF KID!_

**___a/n alright 1 chappie over there is still more to come. hope u liked it. (i promise it WILL get better) _**

**___REVIEW_**

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**___U KNOW YOU WANNA._**


	2. Renemse discovers

**A/N change of plans. renesme deserves to live and i've also had a shoot of insperation. oh and breaking dawn has now happened so yeah, beela's a vamp. guys again i say: "ENJOY!" this chapter also goes to ponyboyslittlesister, coz she/he was first to reveiw. i own nothing but the ishuffle. apple will probably make one soon, but till then i am aloud it without disclaimer.**

BELLA SWAN- scarlet ivory

edward cullen- shadow eyes

jacob black- bow wow

renesme- loch NESSIE monster

emmett cullen- da strong guy.

jasper cullen-

alice cullen- the fortune teller

esme- mom

carlisle cullen- dr. fangs

rosalie- diva

**can we all just pretend everyone is logged on? if you cant, re-read the list and pretend it says _has logged on. _thanks you've saved alot of time.**

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loch NESSIE monster: "OMG! MOM FINALLY LET ME HAVE FACEBOOK!"

scarlet ivory: "you are still only 5 months old even if you look 8."

loch NESSIE monster: *rolls eyes* "and you mom are 18 which is a year older than dad. we still havin' this conversation?"

shadow eyes: "dont be cheeky, renesme"

loch NESSIE monster: "dad?"

shadow eyes: "yes?"

loch NESSIE monster: "a) shut up b) you are sitting next to me you realize this dont you? c) i read-about 10mins ago-ur convo on facebook when u first met mom. so can i have that ishuffle? yes this is called a bribary"

bow wow- "okay nothin i love more than a bribary nessie but WHAT CONVO AND WHERE DID I MISS THAT?!"

loch NESSIE monster: "it's on: cullen; family meet private chat. i hacked jasper's account."

mr. emotional: "im not sure whether to be happy or sad. happy that you now have this over emmett who has been trying for YEARS. sad that it was mine that you hacked. come on nessie, rosalie would have been so furious and you missed the chance. *sighs* anyway how?"

loch NESSIE monster:" i waited till u went huntin on wedensday. watched and wrote down every password u used to lock and unlock the computer and while you went to fix the porche (*SHIFTY EYES*) i read them all. i regret looking in ALICE AND JAZ'S PRIVATE CHAT ROOM. i am scarred. eternally."

the fortune teller- "if i could blush i'd be as scarlet as bella was."

: "speaking of private, how's a hotel (yes alice 5 star) in paris? u, me, right now."

loch NESSIE monster: "can u go back to the private chat room plz?"

: "well, there wont be much talkin..."

loch NESSIE monster: "too"

scarlet ivory: "much"

shadow eyes: "info"

da strong guy: "look if u guy r gettin it on, can u get it on without us knowin the details?"

diva: "yeah, 4 once i agree with em"

_the fortune teller _and _mr. emotional _have logged off.

mom: "i thought bella knew what happened on facebook that day..."

: "i thought so too"

shadow eyes: "i know thats what u thought but isnt it better 4 her not too know?"

scarlet ivory: "still here!"

**a/n sorry, but a cliffy is my speaciality. next chapter up soon so keep reviewing.**


	3. what da emmet?

**a/n hey new chappie up... awkward silence... so yeah you guys reviewed. im very very happy inside andalthough no one has said it i can feel that people are waiting for the cliffy to be over so here. love y'all so keep reviewing.  
**_ - jasper  
the fortune teller- alice  
scarlet ivory- bella  
renesmee- loch NESSIE monster  
jacob- bowow  
edward- shadow eyes  
emmett- da strong guy  
rosalie- diva  
esme- mom  
carlisle-dr fangs  
**everyone is logged on**_

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_loch NESSIE monster: "mom, can you stop whining on saying 'what is in the chat room renesmee?'"  
scarlet ivory: *blushes*  
shadow eyes: "its better this way, love."  
scarlet ivory: "leaving me again, eddie?"  
shadow eyes: "*growls* i hate that name bella"  
diva:"please say your leaving her edward. maybe this time she'll die from the drop"  
scarlet ivory:"a) err...no. id rather not die b) im a vamp now rosalie so you've just been owned c) ithought me & u were cool now!"  
diva:" A)id rather you did B) go buy a life C) that was because you had renesmee. ask edward, i only loved the kid. STILL DO NESSIE!  
scarlet ivory: i already got one. maybe you should buy a personality or better yet something that is not as tacky as your wearing. i love nessie more than you because i DIED for her.  
diva: whatever. i would have too...  
scarlet ivory: EDWARD!  
diva: EMMETT!  
: FIGHT UR OWN PROBLEMS *SHATTERS WINDOWS*  
mom: sorry guys, carlisle realised to late that alcohol is not for vampries  
: esme will you go ffffffffffff hjkldfgtyhfnlhaiwhwthyyuiore a12.,'  
da strong guy:what JUST happened?!  
mom: he was going to smash my favourite vase. no one smashes my favourite vase.  
scarlet ivory: the lesson here is that you never try to harm esme's vase or you get a keyboard so hard it breakes in 2. another lesson is look at which keyboard you hit someone with because im pretty sure that those shatttered remains are alice's.  
mom: crapsicles  
the fortune teller: ESME!  
bow wow: how did carlisle get drunk ayway?  
mom: people encouraged him to try some at work this afternoon because of some sort of 'do'  
mom:NO ALICE! NO!  
the fortune teller: you knew this was how it ends.  
mom: please! i'll do anything  
the fortune teller: *sighs* the only thing you can do is say goodbye.  
mom: i love you! your going to a better place and i know we'll be together again someday *sniffls*  
the fortune teller: it is done  
mom: WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL!  
scarlet ivory: ?  
shadow eyes:?  
diva:?  
da strong guy:?_

loch NESSIE monster:?  
bow wow: i think (after reading it again) that alice smashed esme's vase and she was saying goodbye  
everyone liked this comment minus two people

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_loch NESSIE monster _has shared the chat room with _scarlet ivory  
shadow eyes: THANX ALOT DAUGHTER! (HEAR ANY SARCASM?)  
scarlet ivory: edward... i... what da emmet?  
shadow eyes: bella love their is more to that cha room then you think  
**shadow eyes shared and unblocked 4 chat rooms with scarlet ivory, loch NESSIE monster and bow wow.  
**_

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**a/n here comes the first twilight ;)this is twilight. again. a replay if you will, everything is in order. all names are same. oh, carlisle isnt a drunk i just decided to give the story a kick of my randomness.**


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